I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve, and are discovering what's possible with this fresh new year.
New Year's resolutions aren't usually something I spend much time considering. Generally, I leave the idea alone, and go on with my day. I've never let myself wonder why I think this way, until recently.
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about the importance of me. It may sound silly, but I'm pretty sure that, deep down, it's what keeps me from doing what I dream. I also think it may be what keeps most people, especially women, from living their dreams.
This quote from The Help, embodies a lot of what I've been thinking about. If you haven't read the book, or seen the movie, I highly recommend it:
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.
Important. That's it for me.
I know that I'm important to my kids, my husband, and my family. Beyond them, is where I constantly doubt my importance, and I have got to cut it out.
Doubting my importance keeps me from doing a great many things in my life:
Blogging. I have so many ideas and things I want to share with all of you. I often talk myself out of it because there is so much out there. I tell myself not to worry about it, because someone else probably already wrote "that" tutorial, or posted about "that" idea, and on and on. I have to change this. I know that what I have to share is important, and needs to be out there for all of you. There are some tutorials, on the internet, that visually look very lovely, but the info is not good. You all need good technique, and I want to share what I know with you.
Teaching. Teaching is my passion. It's a huge part of who I am. I was an elementary school teacher, before I was married. I started teaching quilting classes, when I was pregnant with my first child, almost 10 years ago. When my second child arrived, and needed heart surgery at a week old, I had to make some very hard decisions about teaching and traveling. My Molly-Girl needed me home with her, which put traveling to teach on the back burner. Now, it's time to get out there again. That negative self-talk about my importance has been sneaking in, though. I see so many wonderful, young teachers, in the sewing/quilting industry, and I start to doubt my place. My mom would say,
"Cristine Cherie, you just stop it!" (she only uses my full name when it's very important). My mom is generally right. I have to just stop questioning my importance, and search out those teaching opportunities. My wonderful friend, Bari J., tells me "If you don't ask, you don't get." She's very wise. I have a couple of teaching proposals that I'll be working on today.
Submitting to Editors. This idea terrifies me, but I want to submit some of my ideas to other blogs and magazines (or maybe a book), so badly. My mom and I wrote a book together, but doing something on my own, triggers those negative thoughts to creep in. Will it be good enough? Will people care? Am I important enough? I need to stop getting in my own way.
When I start changing my self-talk, and tell myself that my ideas are important, that's when I'll start to see a change, in me. Doubting my importance, unfortunately, has been easy. Changing will be harder. This first day of 2014 will be the first day that I start to change how I think of me. I have to do this for myself. When I stop the doubt, it will also benefit my family, my husband, and my children. Those three little babes of mine deserve to see their mama show her importance, because they are important in this world, too. I never want them to doubt themselves.
I am important.
We are important.
If you find yourself doubting your importance, let's change it together, one thought at a time. I know we can do this, and make our lives richer, and happier.